he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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