I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
