you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
