Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
