i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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