yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize