Dual....:-)
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
