he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
