Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
