Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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