Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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