i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
