I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
