Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
