I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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