I just gift wrapped bread.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
