i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
