Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize