All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
