So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
