these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
