i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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