Sponge bath it is.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
