Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
