fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
