no you cant smoke seaweed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
