DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
