Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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