I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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