I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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