Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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