I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
