the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
