yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize