I want to have your abortion
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize