his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
