At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
