Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
