i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
is it fun? or sober?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
