Sacagawea was the original milf.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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