Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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