Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
