This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
