I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
no you cant smoke seaweed
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
