i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
