I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
