Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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