Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There's always time for handjobs
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
