Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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