your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
