I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Then you guys just all showered together...?
FUCK WHALES
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