Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
