I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
