Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
