he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
