Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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