There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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