So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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