Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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