yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
