She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
