So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
