There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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