Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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