I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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