she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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