I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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