no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
