If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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